Written the early evening of January 14th, 1999...
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It's so cold and miserabe outside. I'm inside with my heater cranked up and I'm still cold. Funny thing is it's been colder than it was today. Things bothered me today because well, the freaking ice!
Yesterday class was cancelled because it started raining down ice and the temperature dropped dramatically. It still didn't deter me from going out last night, though. Didn't have a problem with the weather then. In fact, I had lotsa fun getting philosophical with friends where love was concerned. We were arguing and debating on whether or not it could be defined. In my current perspective (it changes from time to time, I know), it doesn't matter whether or not love can be defined. It is still a useless emotion. Love hurts and debilitates people when given to the wrong person. What's worse is that half of the time we don't even have control over who we give it to. Love is taken from you once you start to enjoy it and that makes you vulnerable, opening you up for unending pain and suffering. Sure, love is great when you're getting some action or you have someone in your life to care about, but for the rest of us poor schmucks, love is just another four letter word meaning co-dependency at best. It serves no purpose other than a temporary distraction from the real world. At least anger, jealousy, and sadness I can channel into resourceful endeavors. Yeah, my current position is one of a cynic, but I'm 0 for 2 in the love game so far. I'd rather be a sore loser and quit playing than risk another humiliating defeat. Anyways... I went home and studied entirely too late into the evening and passed out. It was in the morning that I suddenly noticed how much this weather really sucks! Getting out of my warm bed was difficult enough. Everything was so soft and cozy. The floor was chilling cold. What sucked about my day was that I had to walk to school. Sure, I walked last week when it was colder and it didn't bother me. In fact, I trounced through knee deep snow like it was nothing. It was quite enjoyable, actually. However, today I fell down once on my way to school opening up my hand and bleeding all over. Lovely, eh? So I caught the Metrolink, got to the campus, cleaned out my wound, and got to class on time. I was hoping that by the time I had to go home it would be warm enough to have melted off some of the buildup on the sidewalks. No such luck. I fell down once before I got off campus and a second time after I got off the Metrolink. That's when I decided well... To Hell with it all! I decided I'd rather get hit by a freaking car then take one more chance on the deadly sidewalks. So I battled cars all the way home as I walked my mile home. Yeah, I walk two miles a day and it usually doesn't bother me, but today! Damn! It was the never ending mile. Now I'm numbed up on coedine (left over from last year's tooth surgery), but still cold and unhappy with the nastiness of the outside world right now. Maybe I'll make some hot tea and relax for a bit. Think happy thoughts, right? Well, I get to look forward to three episodes of Friends tonight. Funny thing is that I never watched the show until a few months ago. Now I watch it twice a day in syndication... Tonight's a bonus because they have a new episode on the regular channel. Yeah, it's a tacky and unrealistic show, but it makes me smile and laugh, so don't knock me for it. |
Yeah, my ass is really sore, thanks for wondering.